Sex and Sexuality
just a few thoughts on the subject as it is alluded to through the feminine beauty discussions

My impression is that a lot of people spend a lot of their life drawing their understanding of sex and sexuality from public representations of the concept more than they do from their personal experience. I propose that there are two main reasons this might be:

  • The amount of information in the public arena outweighs the amount of sexual experience most people have been privy to.
  • A person whose sexual experiences don’t fit the world view are more likely to feel they are in the wrong than feel able to challenge the world view.

I think, therefore, that it is important to explore what the public representations of sex and sexuality are, and how they affect and compare to peoples personal experiences. My thoughts so far:


Public World View:
A person’s sexuality is defined and understood by what gender they are sexually attracted to.
A persons sexuality is frequently defined by the observer.

Personal Experience:
A person’s sexuality is not so much about what gender they're attracted to but how the individual in question experiences their sexual nature for his or her self.

Example Case Study:
“As women we do have an urge to look for a stable relationship and reproduce. After you have children, this disappears. That doesn’t mean your desire for sex does too – they’re too different things. I see sex now as related not so much to men or to how I look as to how I think and feel.” ~ Maria Velasco, Case Study by Craig Taylor, April 15 2006, for Sex Now article in the Weekend Guardian

Actress Helen Mirren - Example Case Study
An excerpt from Simon Hatternstone's interview "Nothing Like A Dame" Published in the Weekend Guardian, 2 September 2006

"It's very boring, sexuality," she says, decisively drawing a line under the topic.
No, it's not, I say.
Yes, it is, she says.
"Well, it's quite interesting," she concedes, then she smiles. "I lived with a very great photographer for four years of my life. He was called James Wedge. He experimented with sexuality. He used images of sexuality, or sexuality itself, or whatever it is. We did that, we worked together, did photographic work together. I wasn't averse. I wasn't being prim. I didn't feel I should have to be; I felt I should be able to be whatever I was inside myself without this other thing being imposed on me from the outside. And the thing that was imposed on me from outside was crude and vulgar and distressing to me, and disturbing - that big tits, blond hair, Diana Dors, blowsy kind of thing. Whereas I was interested in sexuality and fetishism and all kinds of stuff. But in a really different way. I think Madonna got it right. Madonna claimed it for herself, and I've always admired her for that. I loved that sex book she did, I thought it was fantastic, because it was a big two fingers up. 'This is my sexuality, it's not what you put on me, it's mine.' "

Public World View:
1. There is only one version of femininity and one version of masculinity – that which is represented on T.V, in glossy magazines, and advertisements.
2. Feminine beauty as something it takes effort to achieve rather than something that naturally graces the female form.
3. Non-sexual femaleness is not considered feminine because the popularised feminine is a sexual femininity.

Personal Experience:
An individual’s sexuality cannot be easily labelled and identified.  People who interpret the representations of sexuality and femininity in the visual media, and take them for our one true reality, think they can identify the sexuality of the people they know using the same social codes which they use to interpret visual images. These people end up making a lot of assumptions about the people they know.

Example Case Study -
“I have to laugh sometimes when people insist I must be straight because I'm married to a bio man, or because I'm not attracted to artificial femininity, or women who act like little girls. I laugh because there are also people who insist that I must be lesbian because most of the men I'm attracted to are a shade on the effeminate side, and I'm not into big macho men.
ccc There are some people who've tried to convince me I'm really a closeted FTM because I can't stand the idea of wearing heels and think pantyhose were invented by sadists. There are also people who are convinced I'm femme because I used to have long hair and wear skirts, and wear makeup and jewelery on rare occasion." ~ uppityliberal, USA, January 2006, LiveJournal.com